we get home from school, turn on the television, my little brothers caleb and curly can tell i'm bored, it must be wintertime, or we would be outside, we all wish we had the power to up and teleport, the commercials are boring, even maury is boring, i start to sort of nudge my brother curly with my toe, he's all like stop it joe, and i just ignore him, the spark ignites in all our eyes and we're ready to go, we all rush up the stairs, let's get ready to rumble, i'm the oldest and biggest so it's them verse me, i throw them on the bed, i throw them off the bed, they hate how strong i am, but they've got the energy, they need to team up, once they team up, i'm in trouble, Caleb's coming off the turn buckle clothes line, curly's ducked behind, that's a mean cut, THEY GOT ME BY THE LEGS AND NECK, SCREAMING WHO'S YR UNCLE? CALEB, CURLY, LET'S HAVE A PLAYFIGHT, BABY, PLAYFIGHT WITH ME BUT I get curly in a headlock, his face is turning red hot, caleb comes from the back with a plastic goal post, head shot, curly bites my leg, i jump up and gag, there's just a bit of blood caleb swings from the top bunk, cheap shot, both feet plow into my gut, oh, now i'm winded but i jump up in rage and I'm chasing them, both of them thundering down the stairs into the open den. Caleb's climbed the couch, he's poised to jump curly's diggin in the drawers, he pulls a knife, i'm like what's that for, he says i'm gonna open up. yeah i'm gonna open up, a can of whoop ass, i run to the garage and grab a chain and a torque wrench, i return to find a haze of smoke and a metalic stench, i creep into the bathroom, lock the door, begin to plan my defense, i lift the toilet tank but hey, where's my weapon? dang it curly, i knew you'd steal my smif and wesson, open up the cupboard, unscrew the plumbing pipes, i learned how to build a gun before i learned to ride a bike. caleb knocks slowly, i'm all like back up, where is curly? caleb says look in the bath tub i say OH NO YOU DIDN'T he says OH YES I DID. I SLIDE AWAY THE SHOWER CURTAIN, CURLY'S DEAD! i take him in my arms, i'm weeping over him, i sweep the bloodied hair out of his lifeless eyes, in the distance i can hear the sirens closing in, caleb pleads, help me joe, he stabbed me in the thigh, I unlock the door, he looks woozy, he begins to cry, he faints into my arms and i'm just glad that he's alive. the paramedics storm inside, broken glass is crunching, i slip the medic fifty bucks, tell our mother nothing.

Klondike Days i'm at k-days, YAY YAY, YAY YAY, HEY WAIT, poorly dressed teenagers are holding each other awkwardly, several tattooed gaunt and sassy carnies trying to talk to me, i can't hear them properly, i think they're calling names, calling into question whether or not i'm man enough when i know they're just convicts who've somehow escaped to canada. klondike days don't remind me of the gold rush, i could find more precious minerals inside my sofa, klondike days remind me of kim mitchell, three days grace, vomit and big pimples, and kids, so many kids, little kids, snotting, spoiled rotten on candied cotton, their parents coughing, smoking a pack a day and it makes me back away and now their kids are hitting strangers when they aren't watching is it just me or is that roller coaster rocking, i just saw a forty year old woman wearing stockings. fish stockings! NO JOKE, her husband's got his shirt off. all of this is rather disconcerting to Joe Gurba when i was little klondike days was somewhat civil yo but where did the fancy dresses and people playing fiddle go?? OH NO, I JUST STEPPED IN A PILE OF PUKE OH NO, THE BILE IS FULL OF DEEP FRIED FOOD, OH NO, I JUST SAW SOMEONE HIT THEIR KID OH NO, THE KAMIKAZE'S MAKING PEOPLE SICK OH NO, IS THAT RAIN OR IS IT SPIT, OH NO, I THINK IT'S LANDING ON THE KIDS! OH NO, I THINK THE RIDE OPERATOR'S STONED OH NO, I'M PRETTY SURE THAT SOMEONE STOLE MY PHONE now i'm in the line for the gravitron, you know the one, the one that spins you around very quickly, what's the diffy, but the line is moving very slowly, and it's long, holy moly. as i inch towards the front the smell is sort of icky, the ground is getting sticky and it reeks of stomach acid, out of the ride an oily teen emerges looking stoked but the acrid fumes surround him too and now he feels the magic as the klondike clown puts his finger down his throat, as his body plied everything that was inside the people there beside began to board the ride i yell for help but the carny says he's fine, i'm the type who learns the easy way, i hop out of the line. (barf) there's a couple corn dogs (barf) there's the elephant ears! (barf) there's deep fried mars bar! (barf) some bootlegged beers! OH NO, I JUST STEPPED IN A PILE OF PUKE OH NO, THE BILE IS FULL OF DEEP FRIED FOOD, OH NO, I JUST SAW SOMEONE HIT THEIR KID OH NO, THE KAMIKAZE'S MAKING PEOPLE SICK OH NO, IS THAT RAIN OR IS IT SPIT, OH NO, I THINK IT'S LANDING ON THE KIDS! OH NO, I THINK THE RIDE OPERATOR'S STONED OH NO, I'M PRETTY SURE THAT SOMEONE STOLE MY PHONE So I figured I should go and get some mini donuts, when some carny who was looking for a fresh opponent tells me i could win a prize with a water gun, he said i'd probably win and it's a lot of fun, i told him no! what? he told me yes! what! I'm going home! what? pull up your dress! what? what you say carny! oh! I said put down the purse. huh? look at you, you're a carny, you're like human dirt! yup! I woke up on the ground, nooooo someone puked on me, nooooo i couldn't hear out of my left ear and there was a little kid kicking me. brutally. I stumbled to my feet and out to the road when i arrived where my car should be, it was towed, so i slowly limped away to the lrt, but i didn't have my wallet or my cell on me, so i stumbled on the train hoping not to get caught but at the very next stop there was a transit cop. he didn't even ask me if i had a bus pass, he just grabbed my head and kneed me in the face. over and over and over again. klondike days. OLD UGLY

HIRE ME NOW I GOTTA GET A JOB GOTTA GET A JOB, GOTTA GET A JOB, GOTTA GET A JOB, GOT AN INTERVIEW, DOWNTOWN AROUND TWO, PUT ON MY BEST SUIT, I TRY TO LOOK CUTE, I'M WAITING FOR THE BUS, I'M LOOKING AT THE TIME, THERE'S A STAIN ON MY CUFF, THAT'S A BAD SIGN. I GET UP OFF THE BUS, I FIND THE RIGHT PLACE, DOOR GOT ME STUCK, REVOLVING DOORS SUCK, SECURITY IS PISSED, THEY GOT THEIR EYE ON ME, I TRY TO ACT CALM, MAINTAIN PROPRIETY, I ROLL UP TO THE LIFT, I PRESS TWENTY SIX, I LOOK AT THE TIME, IT'S TWO TWENTY SIX, I'M LIKE NOOOOOO, TOO LATE FOR THE JOOOOEEE, I FIGURE I SHOULD DIP, JUST GO HOOOOOME, BUT DEEP DOWN INSIDE, I KNOW I HAD TO TRY, I ROLL INTO THE OFFICE AND TELL THEM I'VE ARRIVED: IT'S THE JOE, THE NUMBER ONE CANDIDATE, IT'S THE JOE, THE NUMBER ONE CANDIDATE, I CAN DO MATH, I CAN READ AND WRITE, I SPEAK ENGLISH, I CAN EVEN TYPE! I'M THE JOE, I KNOW YOU KNOW THE NAME, I'M THE JOE, I'VE GOT SOME LOCAL FAME, I SHOW UP ON TIME, EVEN THOUGH I'M LATE, I GET SICK A LOT, BUT STILL COME TO WORK! COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH beeeat switchchchchch!!! I STEP INTO THE BOSSES OFFICE, LIMPING DEEP, HE ASKS ME IF I HURT MYSELF, NAH, THIS IS ME, HE ASKS ME WHAT I TOOK IN SCHOOL, HISTORY, AND FOR HOW LONG? HALF OF ONE SEMESTER. OH WHY IS THAT, THEY WON'T GIVE ME LOANS, OH WHY IS THAT, MY CREDIT RATINGS BLOWN, OH WHY IS THAT, OH I KNOW YOU KNOW, I'M THE FREAKING JOE, I LIVE OFF OF RAP! BUT NOW YOU WANNA JOB? YES SIR I DO, SOMETHING REALLY EASY, THAT I CAN HURRY THROUGH, OH, YEAH, AND I NEED, A LOT OF TIME OFF, I OFTEN GO ON TOUR, AND I'M SICK A LOT, BUT EVEN WHEN I'M SICK, I USUALLY SHOW UP, I USUALLY THROW UP, I USUALLY COUGH AND COUGH AND COUGH, BUT NONETHELESS I'M BRILLIANT, SOME WOULD CALL ME GENIUS, I'M ONE IN A BILLION, YOU'LL UNDERSTAND WHEN YOU SEE THIS I CLIMB UP ON HIS DESK, PULL A MIC OUT MY VEST, TEAR THE SHIRT OFF MY CHEST, RAP ABOUT HOW I'M BLESSED WITH THE TALENT OF THE BEST, HOW I ONCE KILLED A BEAR HOW IF HE CAME TO MY HOUSE, HE WOULD SEE THE RUG IN THERE, I TELL HIM HE'S RETARDED, I'M THE NUMBER ONE CANDIDATE, I TELL HIM HE SHOULD HIRE ME IF ONLY HE CAN HANDLE IT, I BREAK A COUPLE THINGS, SHOW HIM MY FRICKING TEETH, LET THE DIAMONDS AND THE GOLD IN MY GRILL TALK FOR ME, CAUSE I'M THE JOE, THE NUMBER ONE CANDIDATE IT'S THE JOE, THE NUMBER ONE CANDIDATE, I CAN DO MATH, I CAN READ AND WRITE, I SPEK ENGRISH, I CAN EVEN TYPE! I'M THE JOE, I KNOW YOU KNOW THE NAME, I'M THE JOE, I'VE GOT SOME LOCAL FAME, I SHOW UP ON TIME, EVEN THOUGH I'M LATE, I GET SICK A LOT, BUT STILL COME TO WORK! COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH

I HAVE NO FRIENDS but I'm still cool I'm still smart, I'm still hot, NO FRIENDS, but that's their fault because they're stupid and i'm not. NO FRIENDS - but I'm still healthy, [cough cough cough] I'm still wealthy, NO FRIENDS! and I don't need'em, i'm not hurt, i'm not bleeding. Mitchmatic: Ayo I make and lose friends everyday, keep it fresh, never fade away in the relational mess. But yo I make and lose friends everyway, keep it fresh, but never is it safe to say yes to a friendship cause kids aint proper. They tell you "meet you in the school hall" just to stuff you in a locker but that's cool and I forgive'em for that but when they come back I give'em hell for lack of water, un. With the times that be designed with me in mind alone, don't mind the privacy of the world. When no one smiles at me I think "finally, all these peeps got it right no keep your eyes off me." I just need to be alone and go home without the pressures of the people trying to phone. If I need to be violent in public just to show'em, that's find. I'll hurt you if you try to put me in your phone. I HAVE NO FRIENDS but I'm still cool I'm still smart, I'm still hot, NO FRIENDS, but that's their fault because they're stupid and i'm not. NO FRIENDS - but I'm still healthy, [cough cough cough] I'm still wealthy, NO FRIENDS! and I don't need'em, i'm not hurt, i'm not bleeding. The Joe: I have no friends! so why should I NOT double park? Why should I hold the elevator!? Mash the accelerator; tell a nurse or tell a waiter not to touch me, not to bug me, not to LOVE ME!! Cause my heart is a cold cold country... I am old and ugly. I use to enjoy hanging with the boys making lots of noise but now I'm annoyed. Now I'm a jerk, always late to work, mad till it hurts, four letter words. I mash on the gas, honk as I pass, making sure I'm first and everyone is last. Just as a joke I called up my folks, pretended I's the cops, told them I had croaked, laughed while they cried, put the phone on the hook, disconnect the line, cancelled facebook. Say what!? Then I burnt down my house. Straight up!? Then I went to greyhound. Wait what!? When I wake up: I was covered in strange cuts, sleeping in an airport outside of Mayerthorpe. I get on the plane. I'm feeling deranged like Cain, Charlemagne, Tamerlane, and Saddam Hussein. This is strange, now I'm flying the plane! And it's Boxing Day and I'm headed for W.E.M. (West Edmonton Mall!!) Now I'm going to the mall to meet up with my friends. I text them how I feel, descend and press send. LA LA LAA LA LA LA I HAVE NO FRIENDS but I'm still cool I'm still smart, I'm still hot, NO FRIENDS, but that's their fault because they're stupid and i'm not. NO FRIENDS - but I'm still healthy, [cough cough cough] I'm still wealthy, NO FRIENDS! and I don't need'em, i'm not hurt, i'm not bleeding.

I dwell inside the shoe box, inside the safety deposit box, inside the shed and you got it locked, inside the locket on your neck and I'm walking with the dead, I think I'm talking to myself. I mean you speak with the devil — every bus ride's a temple where your headphones will level any chance outta hell — I think I'm talking to myself. I get this nauseous feeling no one is listening, even though the stars are glistening and everything is working out. I'm the fire you always heard about, don't you remember? was anybody listening? I could topple over mountains into quiet valleys or perhaps I'll weave a highway through a silent alley. I worked for years and paid my dowry! how come all around me nobody's listening? we've got a fire in our chest and it's a fire that knows our name and our fire is burning hot in our fire the voice of God we carry fire how could we not without this fire we would rot I hold my fire like it's my child I know the fire the voice of God I had a cousin who lost his head, huge fire in his chest, camel skin tunic and a flaming life under the sun. My cousin waist deep in a river, yes, crowds would come to have him bless anyone who would confess that they had the fire but never wore it on their tongue — as my cousin did — fire in his lungs, fire in his gums, fire in his palms, fire in his guts, fire in his blood, fire on his finger tips, fire never burning up, only ever turning up, only ever yearning for burning love forevermore! My cousin looked me in the eye and with a heavy knowing sigh we chant we've got a fire in our chest and it's a fire that knows our name and our fire is burning hot in our fire the voice of God we carry fire how could we not without this fire we would rot I hold my fire like it's my child I know the fire the voice of God

They made a statue out of me; they're surrounding me with scaffolding telling me to hold still When in actuality it's impossible, I have to breathe, I'm starting to get cold chills. I see them melting precious metals, stirring in some flower petals, smelting out the dross. They've hired shrinks to help me settle down, "Settle down. While the kettle sounds try to think of God!" Now the cauldron's hoisted over me, I've not been given anesthetic, I don't know if I can take the heat. I clench my teeth and groan and wheeze — my face encrypted with a look of pain and duty eternally. Now I see they've chosen copper bronze. I understand why — cause it will turn green eventually. Now the masses take the massive tongs, they pluck me up, colossus that I am, from the ground with ease. They dip me in the black sea, I feel the salt cauterize my eyes, and now it's hard to see properly. The water seems to attack me, I hum a tune I'd written long ago to help me cope with such defeat. They set me in the town square, I feel the sun glare intensely on my copper solid carapace And I can feel the crowd there, squirming at my feet, marvelling at me, hurling their imperatives. I smell the food left at my feet, entire cattle roasted, wheat and wine and corn and rice, And though i hunger like a beast, I can't move or bend a knee to eat their sacrifice. And now I hear their desperate voice, calling out, all at once, help us know ourselves. (help us know ourselves.) It escalates to such a noise that I can't tell the words apart, i'm stuck in bronze how am I suppose to help? And now they start to sing, and it's startling, it's a song that I myself had written once. Last time I sang it I was gargling, they must have heard and from this herd of sheep, the incantation comes, It isn't long before the food starts to rot, I can smell it from on high, the putrid fumes are pungeant, The masses start to whine a lot, the sacrifices change from beef and grouse to leeks and onions, After weeks and months and years the faithful disappear, their prayers and hopes are unfulfilled, I stand alone on high and hear the town go about their lives and I'm alive upon the hill. A couple generations pass, men begin to tear the oxidized copper walls from my skin They replace their rooves of thatch with the greening tin and I begin to get some oxygen leaking in. gasp. They pay no heed to me, they take from me, they cleave from me, I remember when they needed me. As the exoskeleton is carried off, I'm bit by bit released until my eyes can see that I am not their God. I stumble off. I can hear my thoughts, As I walk away I can sing again.

THIS IS THE SOUND OF THE STURM AND THE DRANG THESE ARE THE STREETS AND WE'RE THE WORM IN THE RAIN PUT'EM UP IF YOU HEARD WHAT I'M SAY'N IT'S OUR NERVES AND OUR VEINS AND IT'S BURNED IN OUR BRAINS yeah IT'S OUR NERVES AND OUR VEINS AND IT'S BURNED IN OUR BRAINS yeah IT'S OUR NERVES AND OUR VEINS AND IT'S BURNED IN OUR BRAINS DON'T LET THE MUSIC STOP! One thing bout music, when it hits you feel no pain, old folks say it controls your brain and i know exactly what they're saying, and since the day I came there aint a dang thang changed since the days of Cain, Charlemagne, Tamerlane, and big daddy cane, music has been the thang that keeps the population sane, whether it's poppin or not it has a way of draining through the veins, it's the lightning and the rain and i'm hugging the weather vane, gimme the electric vibrato, seratto, apocalyptic pain, through the generations poets been passing history through the songs and through the poems and their passing it to me, me me me and i'm passing it to you, and props to all of those who take these poems and actually do what their told to, memorize it, vocalize it, let it mold you, don't act the punk and enterprise it, let it quote you as you quote it, know the hook so when it's our turn to hit the mic we can become the foot note. THIS IS THE SOUND OF THE STURM AND THE DRANG THESE ARE THE STREETS AND WE'RE THE WORM IN THE RAIN PUT'EM UP IF YOU HEARD WHAT I'M SAY'N IT'S OUR NERVES AND OUR VEINS AND IT'S BURNED IN OUR BRAINS yeah IT'S OUR NERVES AND OUR VEINS AND IT'S BURNED IN OUR BRAINS yeah DON'T LET THE MUSIC STOP! you know the sound of God, you hear it on the mountain tops you hear the angel choir start a fire in your fountain pop, you know the burn of bass, you chase the music through the sour fog, you can make the clock tower stop ticking but the sound will not, it will resound forever, man can not abolish it, the music will go on without us, might as well acknowledge it, put an ear to the ground and soak it in, the volcanic terra dome is opening, the rhythm in the jungle is immitagably rumbling and the mountain men are yodeling it pulses like the pounding rain but never seems to sound the same, i can feel the glowing noise employed when ever i sit down to pray, ohhhhh, and i might as well, cause the only utter silence is in the depth of hell, i want not, i need not, i hear God, i see God, I need that, I need voice, so I can sing his song as well. i climb that belfry like it never fell and grab the rope and pull like there was still a bell, and it rejoiced instead of knell with something left to tell. let it ring... THIS IS THE SOUND OF THE STURM AND THE DRANG THESE ARE THE STREETS AND WE'RE THE WORM IN THE RAIN PUT'EM UP IF YOU HEARD WHAT I'M SAY'N IT'S OUR NERVES AND OUR VEINS AND IT'S BURNED IN OUR BRAINS yeah IT'S OUR NERVES AND OUR VEINS AND IT'S BURNED IN OUR BRAINS yeah DON'T LET THE MUSIC STOP! ... this song's alternate title is THE SOUND OF GOD.