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Klondike Days

from PLAYFIGHT by The Joe

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    Immediate download of Klondike Days in your choice of 320k mp3, FLAC, or just about any other format you could possibly desire. The full album available from www.olduglyco.com/store/.
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about

K-days aren't the same anymore. I've seen some foul things in the northlands. So much for history. I guess the original gold diggers of the klondike wouldn't be unlike the rig pigs of today... this could be a fair line of reasoning. I wonder if the original Klondike adventurers would haul ass back to edmonton in a truck with testicles and drop eight hundred dollars in one night at the oil city roadhouse. That's a lot to chew on. My childhood romanticism is falling apart as I write this.

lyrics

Klondike Days

i'm at k-days, YAY YAY, YAY YAY, HEY WAIT,
poorly dressed teenagers are holding each other awkwardly,
several tattooed gaunt and sassy carnies trying to talk to me,
i can't hear them properly, i think they're calling names,
calling into question whether or not i'm man enough
when i know they're just convicts who've somehow escaped to canada.
klondike days don't remind me of the gold rush,
i could find more precious minerals inside my sofa,
klondike days remind me of kim mitchell,
three days grace, vomit and big pimples,
and kids, so many kids, little kids, snotting,
spoiled rotten on candied cotton, their parents coughing,
smoking a pack a day and it makes me back away
and now their kids are hitting strangers when they aren't watching
is it just me or is that roller coaster rocking,
i just saw a forty year old woman wearing stockings.
fish stockings! NO JOKE, her husband's got his shirt off.
all of this is rather disconcerting to Joe Gurba
when i was little klondike days was somewhat civil yo
but where did the fancy dresses and people playing fiddle go??

OH NO, I JUST STEPPED IN A PILE OF PUKE
OH NO, THE BILE IS FULL OF DEEP FRIED FOOD,
OH NO, I JUST SAW SOMEONE HIT THEIR KID
OH NO, THE KAMIKAZE'S MAKING PEOPLE SICK
OH NO, IS THAT RAIN OR IS IT SPIT,
OH NO, I THINK IT'S LANDING ON THE KIDS!
OH NO, I THINK THE RIDE OPERATOR'S STONED
OH NO, I'M PRETTY SURE THAT SOMEONE STOLE MY PHONE

now i'm in the line for the gravitron, you know the one,
the one that spins you around very quickly, what's the diffy,
but the line is moving very slowly, and it's long, holy moly.
as i inch towards the front the smell is sort of icky,
the ground is getting sticky and it reeks of stomach acid,
out of the ride an oily teen emerges looking stoked
but the acrid fumes surround him too and now he feels the magic
as the klondike clown puts his finger down his throat,
as his body plied everything that was inside
the people there beside began to board the ride
i yell for help but the carny says he's fine,
i'm the type who learns the easy way, i hop out of the line.
(barf) there's a couple corn dogs
(barf) there's the elephant ears!
(barf) there's deep fried mars bar!
(barf) some bootlegged beers!

OH NO, I JUST STEPPED IN A PILE OF PUKE
OH NO, THE BILE IS FULL OF DEEP FRIED FOOD,
OH NO, I JUST SAW SOMEONE HIT THEIR KID
OH NO, THE KAMIKAZE'S MAKING PEOPLE SICK
OH NO, IS THAT RAIN OR IS IT SPIT,
OH NO, I THINK IT'S LANDING ON THE KIDS!
OH NO, I THINK THE RIDE OPERATOR'S STONED
OH NO, I'M PRETTY SURE THAT SOMEONE STOLE MY PHONE

So I figured I should go and get some mini donuts,
when some carny who was looking for a fresh opponent
tells me i could win a prize with a water gun,
he said i'd probably win and it's a lot of fun,
i told him no! what? he told me yes! what!
I'm going home! what? pull up your dress! what?
what you say carny! oh! I said put down the purse. huh?
look at you, you're a carny, you're like human dirt! yup!
I woke up on the ground, nooooo
someone puked on me, nooooo
i couldn't hear out of my left ear
and there was a little kid kicking me. brutally.
I stumbled to my feet and out to the road
when i arrived where my car should be, it was towed,
so i slowly limped away to the lrt,
but i didn't have my wallet or my cell on me,
so i stumbled on the train hoping not to get caught
but at the very next stop there was a transit cop.
he didn't even ask me if i had a bus pass,
he just grabbed my head and kneed me in the face.
over and over and over again.
klondike days.


OLD UGLY

credits

from PLAYFIGHT, track released June 19, 2010
This beat was stolen from Casshis I think. It doesn't really matter. It's mine now. Mitch Holtby, the boy wonder, he recorded this jam and stayed up till four AM every night leading up to the tape release trying to deal with it. Major propers.

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The Joe Alberta

Edmonton's son, cut from the cloth.

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