I HAVE NO FRIENDS
but I'm still cool
I'm still smart, I'm still hot,
NO FRIENDS,
but that's their fault
because they're stupid and i'm not.
NO FRIENDS -
but I'm still healthy,
[cough cough cough] I'm still wealthy,
NO FRIENDS!
and I don't need'em,
i'm not hurt, i'm not bleeding.

Mitchmatic:
Ayo I make and lose friends everyday, keep it fresh,
never fade away in the relational mess.
But yo I make and lose friends everyway, keep it fresh,
but never is it safe to say yes to a friendship
cause kids aint proper.
They tell you "meet you in the school hall" just to stuff you in a locker
but that's cool and I forgive'em for that
but when they come back I give'em hell for lack of water, un.
With the times that be
designed with me
in mind alone, don't mind the privacy of the world.
When no one smiles at me
I think "finally,
all these peeps got it right no keep your eyes off me."
I just need to be alone and go home
without the pressures of the people trying to phone.
If I need to be violent in public just to show'em,
that's find. I'll hurt you if you try to put me in your phone.

I HAVE NO FRIENDS
but I'm still cool
I'm still smart, I'm still hot,
NO FRIENDS,
but that's their fault
because they're stupid and i'm not.
NO FRIENDS -
but I'm still healthy,
[cough cough cough] I'm still wealthy,
NO FRIENDS!
and I don't need'em,
i'm not hurt, i'm not bleeding.

The Joe:
I have no friends! so why should I NOT double park?
Why should I hold the elevator!?
Mash the accelerator; tell a nurse or tell a waiter
not to touch me, not to bug me,
not to LOVE ME!!
Cause my heart is a cold cold country...
I am old and ugly.
I use to enjoy hanging with the boys
making lots of noise but now I'm annoyed.
Now I'm a jerk, always late to work,
mad till it hurts, four letter words.
I mash on the gas, honk as I pass,
making sure I'm first and everyone is last.
Just as a joke I called up my folks,
pretended I's the cops, told them I had croaked,
laughed while they cried, put the phone on the hook,
disconnect the line, cancelled facebook. Say what!?
Then I burnt down my house. Straight up!?
Then I went to greyhound. Wait what!?
When I wake up: I was covered in strange cuts,
sleeping in an airport outside of Mayerthorpe.
I get on the plane. I'm feeling deranged
like Cain, Charlemagne, Tamerlane, and Saddam Hussein.
This is strange, now I'm flying the plane!
And it's Boxing Day and I'm headed for W.E.M. (West Edmonton Mall!!)
Now I'm going to the mall to meet up with my friends.
I text them how I feel, descend and press send.

LA LA LAA LA LA LA

I HAVE NO FRIENDS
but I'm still cool
I'm still smart, I'm still hot,
NO FRIENDS,
but that's their fault
because they're stupid and i'm not.
NO FRIENDS -
but I'm still healthy,
[cough cough cough] I'm still wealthy,
NO FRIENDS!
and I don't need'em,
i'm not hurt, i'm not bleeding.